Guide · by Mwata
More time for yourself? Start with who decides your week.
Many people say they have no time. That is often true, but it is not the whole story. What is often missing is control: who actually decides what fills your week?
It comes up again and again with people who are thinking about a big change. They want to work less, take a sabbatical or move, and behind that wish there is often the same question: how do I get more control over my time? This short exercise helps you find changes you could try in your current week before making a bigger decision.
In short
- Having little free time and having little say over your schedule are different problems.
- Sort an ordinary week into three kinds of time: Fixed by others, Must do's and My choice.
- Work out what share of your waking hours is really yours.
- Take back one block of your week next month.
- For that first step you usually do not need a new country, but a conversation or a different division of responsibilities.
Little time or little control?
Work and travel time fill the week. The weekend fills up with must do's: cleaning, shopping, paperwork. At the end of the week there is little left that you chose yourself. Then it feels as if you have no time, while the problem is mostly that others and the must do's decide what you do.
That distinction matters for what you do about it. If you lack time, reducing commitments may help. If you have little say over your schedule, look at which arrangements you could change.
Three kinds of time
| Kind | What falls under it |
|---|---|
| Fixed by others | Time set by work or other commitments, such as working hours, meetings and commuting. |
| Must do's | Things that have to happen: housework, shopping, paperwork, caring for others. |
| My choice | Time you can choose how to spend, even if you fill it with activities. |
The exercise in four steps
- Pick an ordinary week. Not a holiday, not an exception. Estimate the hours. Rough numbers are good enough.
- Sort the hours into Fixed by others, Must do's and My choice. Count each hour once. If an activity fits more than one category, use the category that best explains how much choice you have over that time.
- Work out your own share. Use 112 hours a week: 16 waking hours a day, 7 days, the rest is sleep. If you have a job, children or care for someone else, many of those hours are already committed. That is not failing: it shows where you have room and where you do not. Divide the hours you can choose how to spend by your total waking hours for the week. Multiply by 100 for a percentage. If you sleep eight hours a night, use 112 waking hours; otherwise use your adjusted total. That is the share of your week that is really yours.
- See what you can take back. Which must do's can you drop, simplify, share or outsource? Which fixed commitment could you move, shorten or renegotiate? And which block do you take back next month?
| Kind | Hours per week |
|---|---|
| Fixed by others (work and travel) | 50 |
| Must do's | 25 |
| My choice | 37 |
Of the 112 hours in his week, about a third is really Lucas's own. He sees that a large part of his Saturday goes on shopping and cleaning. Two changes: have the groceries delivered and clean together on Thursday evening. That gives him his Saturday morning back. After that he wants to ask whether he can work from home on Fridays. This changes when the tasks happen; it does not automatically reduce the time they take. Count any extra free hours only if a task actually takes less of his time.
How much does this have to do with moving?
Often less than you think. In the example, Lucas does not need to move to another country. He could discuss working from home with his employer and sharing household tasks differently at home.
Sometimes you see the opposite. You count your hours, take back a block, and notice that what you miss is still missing: another climate, more space, another language around you. Then you have a better answer to the question of whether a move is needed. You know what you can already change and what is only possible somewhere else.
My own week
The year I renovated the ruin in Portugal was one of the busiest of my life. Still, it felt very different from my years in an office, because I decided when I did what. When the renovation needed me, I did no consulting that day. When it was sunny on a Tuesday, I took the day off and made it up on Sunday. Busy, but by my own choice. That is what it is about for me: more control over my time.
Before you decide anything big
If you work less or work differently, that affects your income, pension and benefits. Work that out with your employer or a qualified adviser before you make a decision. Agreements and rules differ per employer and per situation. This is not legal or financial advice.
Go one step further: an ordinary Tuesday
Once you have looked at your schedule, consider how you want to spend the time you free up. Write down one ordinary day in that life, detailed enough to test. A free three-page exercise.
Do the exercise in your browser Or get the PDFIf you are also unsure about moving
Have you changed your routine but still feel that something is missing? If you are considering a move, read Moving abroad or not? Start with an ordinary day. That guide helps you consider whether a move would bring you closer to the daily life you want.
If you want to go further with this
The exercise above comes from Step 1 of The Made Real Blueprint. Phase 1 (Steps 1 to 3) helps you work out what you want to change and what you still need to investigate, and leads to a decision with conditions and a first step. It is self-study with workbooks and an app. The course is available in English and Dutch.
See Phase 1 · Try the free exercise first
By Mwata. I have built a new life abroad twice, first in Bali and then in Portugal. This guide draws on my own experience and the exercises in the Blueprint. Questions or comments? Email me or send me a message on WhatsApp.